This morning I bumped into an old friend I hadn’t seen for a while, and a fast-paced catch up ensued.
After a few minutes, we had dispensed with niceties and were discussing the state of society (…naturally…). In particular, we both remarked how, as we’d moved from junior to mid level roles at work, our energetic demeanours could be misinterpreted.
The bottom line was simple. Energetic, open, positive people are often considered to ‘lack gravitas’, whereas people who are more reserved or less congenial – perhaps even imposing – are more likely to be considered to ‘have gravitas’. My friend put it another way: “people with a resting bitch face are taken seriously”.
This is important because, to many, ‘gravitas’ is believed to be a prerequisite for getting to the top. Behind all this is an interesting question. Is gravitas actually needed before someone is made a leader or manager? (Leaders and managers being different of course… https://www.intercom.com/blog/podcasts/reddits-nick-caldwell-engineering-leadership/).
Many successful businessmen – mainly young entrepreneurs – lack gravitas when you meet them. Some of the best live in a mental state of ‘organised disorganisation’. They are full of energy, thinking about ideas, critically analysing what they see, finding reasons to love or dislike seeming mundane things in life. In short, they are not the pinnacle of gravitas that is a FTSE CEO.
Often, gravitas comes much later than a leadership or management role does. How else does a small, young start up CEO grow to run a large enterprise with gravitas? They are able to do it because gravitas is (a) learned through experience and (b) imputed by role, age or status in an organisation.
In fact, contrary to what some think about gravitas, the best management/leadership candidates are not those with gravitas but those that: (1) are good at their jobs and (2) have a strong ability to connect with the people around them. Connecting with people is vital, as leaders’ and managers’ core responsibility is to either bring people on a journey (leaders) or make people feel important and cared for (managers).
What is interesting about most energetic people I meet is that, while they may lack superficial gravitas, they’re the ones with the strongest ability to connect with people. This is because most derive their passion from close relationships, and to sustain those relationships they’ve had to hone their ability to read and connect with their colleagues, friends and family more than others have had to. Energetic people may not have gravitas, but they can certainly lead a group of people on a journey.
To take it a step further, not only are ability and interpersonal skills vital prerequisites to management or leadership, but I’d actually argue that gravitas is better when it develops only after someone takes up a leadership or management role. When that happens, a leader or manager acquires gravitas but retains their personal touch, which let’s them come across as authentic and honest with staff.
So, distilling all of the above into a sentence of advice, the key things you should focus on if you want to be a manager or leader are (a) being technically good at your job and (b) connecting with the people around you. It doesn’t matter if you are jovial and energetic. Some of the best leaders are.
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