Today I was chatting to a friend about work.
When I told him I manage Triple Point’s venture team and am the co-founder of Further, the fund administration software business, his reaction was instant: “That sounds intense. Two roles, how do you have the time?“.
The answer, I found myself explaining, is that I’ve simply realised I can tolerate the workload.
The discomfort was a surprise to begin with – I’m not going to lie – particularly as with both businesses I didn’t quite know what I was signing up for when I started them! But I found myself able to tolerate it.
Now, I’m able to get through the work AND enjoy it while I’m at it.
But how did I get myself used to this discomfort (because ultimately that’s what it is) in the first place? Why didn’t I ‘fold’ early on?
On reflection, I realised there were a couple of things I did in life that accidentally got me ready. I thought I’d write them down now, and make them actionable, in case they’re helpful for others in future.
1) Learn a new skill – and persist
My first lesson in discomfort came when I started learning Spanish, at 23 years old. When I began, many great (bilingual!) friends told me I wouldn’t reach fluency. I was “too old”, they said.
I marched onward though, as becoming fluent was my only option for convincing my now wife (then ex-girlfriend!) to move back to the UK (from Colombia), to continue our relationship.
It’s a long story, but after two years – including living internationally – I got fluent in Spanish…much to my friends’ surprise.
Discomfort at the time consisted of not flicking on Netflix when I had an hour in the evening (or 30 mins for lunch). I turned on Duolingo every work break, and carried my Spanish exercise books with me everywhere I went. I did Spanish exercises 4 times a week for an hour, and lessons every Sunday morning. All of my annual leave was spent travelling to Spanish speaking countries.
Anecdote: I was in M&A at the time…and one time I had a deal close at 5am on Sunday morning. I went to my Spanish lesson at 9am, out of principle! I was totally knackered though…
I made a habit out of learning Spanish, and I kept it up come-what-may. It was uncomfortable, but I did it. I was the only member of my A1 Spanish class to keep it up and eventually get to fluency.
Of course, as I did this, I ensured I had ‘break weeks’, but I kept pushing through. The progress came slowly, but I stayed focused, and made sure I made it something I enjoyed (watching movies in Spanish was a great way of doing this!).
Discomfort Lesson 1: Learn a new skill, and persist until you actually get good at it (over 18 months minimum). The patience this requires as an adult will be humbling and full of discomfort. When you have moments you can’t be bothered: breathe, and crack on for just 15 minutes.
2) Get really fit – at least relative to most other people your age
My second lesson in discomfort is a bit of a cliche, but it’s true. It came when I started CrossFit in 2019.
When I started, I found the workouts harder than I ever imagined. But because it was tough, I made a habit of it.
I adopted a ‘3 days on, 1 day off’ routine (that I still try to keep today). I ensured I went out of my way to make great CF friends, which made attendance easier. I prioritised workouts over all personal time, to ensure I fitted them in (even if I was busy).
Like with Spanish, the results were slow. Over several years, I kept up the pain, and achieved things I didn’t think I’d ever do – like muscle-ups and handstand walks.
Anecdote: I remember once crying in the shower, 10 months after starting, when I ripped my hands open in several places from muscle up attempts. The water was stinging the ripped skin badly. I taped my hands up and worked out the next day (not muscle ups though!).
I will always remember something I realised as I kept CrossFit up. I used to see people in the gym doing gymnastic movements – and I subconsciously thought ‘I’m not designed for that’. I only realised I thought like that when I achieved movements for the first time, that’s how subconcious it was.
If you start CrossFit, or another pretty intense workout routine, you may discover the same. Each new movement I learnt really showed me, “shit man, you can do this”. It was a feeling that reminded me of being a younger teenager (or kid). It was empowering and liberating.
Discomfort Lesson 2: Get properly fit. Not like ‘I run a charity marathon’ fit. I mean really fit – CrossFit fit. Make friends when doing it, but don’t rely on them to continue yourself. If you go to a commercial gym, work out at a higher intensity than 95% of gymgoers.
In learning a new skill, against the odds, and regularly being humbled by physical discomfort, I reckon you will develop (or hone!) the mental resilience that helps your day-to-day work performance and capacity.
Well, that and getting 8 hours of sleep a night…anyone who regularly gets less is mad!
Try it out and see how you get on! 🙂
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